“God manages this hostel”

As I inquired about a room at Hostal Esfinge in Granada (Nicaragua), the female proprietor (who bore more than a passing resemblance to a Nicaraguan version of Margaret Thatcher), pointed out her wall-mounted list of hostel rules. As she repeatedly warned me of the perils of bringing women back to the hostel, and I repeatedly assured her I was married, my fear grew.

"If you bring a woman back, I’ll give you your money back and see you to the door. I don’t need your money." she told me in Spanish. "I understand, I really am married, I won’t be bringing any women back", I told her for the fifth time.

She finished her hostel induction pep-talk with the wonderful line "God manages this hostel". I walked around the corner and saw a cardboard cut-out God watching over Hostal Esfinge.

Hostal Esfinge, Granada, Nicaragua

On my second day there I plucked up the courage to ask her for an adapter so that I could plug my laptop in and run it at the same time as the room fan. The room was a stifling 45 degrees, and had nothing in it except hallucinogenic wallpaper (see photos) and a single plug socket.

Her reply was simply "Oooohhhh…that is not permitted. It is not permitted to plug in computers, phones, cameras or anything except the fan. The electricity is expensive."

Muchas gracias Margaret.

Photos of Granada and Hostal Esfinge

Granada, Nicaragua

The Lonely Planet states the following about Granada "The goose that laid Nicaraguan tourism’s golden egg is beguiling Granada, whose restored colonial glories render it a high point of many travelers’ time in Central America".

I thought it a pretty, but rather vacuous tourist trap. Compared to Leon, it had none of the edgy, revolutionary, arty vibe about it. Think horse-drawn carts ferrying around fat tourists, restored, gringo-owned restaurants selling $10 hamburgers to the same fat tourists, and you’ve pretty much got the idea.

The average Nicaraguan can no longer afford to even be in Granada (unless they’re sweeping the streets), let alone own property, work and support a family here as the foreign tidal wave of property & business acquisition sweeps through this once splendid city – turning it into another Antigua – beautiful, empty buildings, but no locals.

That may sound a bit harsh, and it wasn’t that I found Granada so bad, it simply felt a bit empty and characterless compared with the rest of Nicaragua.

Leon vs Granada? Leon wins hands down.

Podcast from Granada and Leon

Photos of Granada and Hostal Esfinge

Podcast: Granada & León, Nicaragua

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Join us on an audio tour of Granada, with sounds of the market, Lago de Nicaragua and a street parade and band. We round off this podcast with a bit of Nicaraguan history and some thoughts on the highlights of both Granada & Leon in Nicaragua.

Nicaragua podcast